Sunday, December 10, 2006
{ 12:05 PM }
I have a little problem.So, I call you on the phoneI'm given numbered optionsTo punch them each by tone.After hitting number 7,Then 2, 8, 6 and pound,A short recording tells meThat no operators can be found.They're busy helping othersAnd would I hold, this once?Because my call is SO important.What am I? A dunce?My call's not so importantThat I'll spend an hour on hold,While my shoulder aches,my patience bakes,And my coffee grows green mold.Nothing your recording saysCan cause me to believeThat my call will be takenIn the order it was received.So, down I put the telephoneAnd up I pick the modemTo find solutions, on your site,And, once found, download 'emI calmly wait while DNSLooks up your URL,Until your server answersYour home page front door bell.I wait for frames to paint themselves,My solution to begin.And then, I wait for plug-insSo I can see your logo spin.I wait to get an audio file,Greetings from your CEO.He doesn't get the Internet.But, he loves the radio.I wait for a picture ofYour building is on my screenAnd I realize there are thingsThat should not be heard nor seen.Finally, there's a menuAnd I poise my mouse to click.But first, a Java applet! "Starting Java." I know that won't be quick.The menu choices indicateYou know yourselves full well.You know all about your companyAnd that's what you want to tell.But, where's the button, I can push,That takes me to the pageThat solves my problem? Feels my pain?And soothes my mounting rage?There, in the lower corner,Down by the copyright,There's a little tiny iconThat looks as if it might ...Be a link to customer service.My troubles soon will quit!I click upon it and I get ...A 404 ... Oh, sugar.(for a word that rhymes with quit)And when I finally reach that pageThat promises relief,I'm staring at a documentThat's far beyond belief.For, where there should be answersTo frequently asked questionsAnd online help and knowledge-bases,Is naught but indigestion.For, there in type italics,Underlined and bold,Is the number forYour help desk phone.I should have stayed on hold.(by Jim Sterne)
Labels: information
